I hate when people ask what I’ve been up to.
It’s such a default question.
Starting today, I will not be answering that question.
Instead, I shall be answering what I haven’t been up to.
No one ever asks.
Here’s what I haven’t been up to.
Kidnapping.
Yelling.
Drinking cat urine.
Staying in touch.
Listening to rap music.
Singing in public.
Learning a new language.
Murder.
Spending time on my myspace blog.
Exercising regularly.
Avoiding worry, confusion, and frustration.
Getting a haircut.
Buying sneakers.
Farming.
Missing my days in television news.
Pursuing a relationship.
Working on my newest invention: Ear Socks.
Dancing.
Giving obscene nicknames to everyone I know.
Drinking enough water.
© July 25, 2008
